Two slices of the happiness pie are short-term happiness, about three or four slices are long-term happiness, and five or four slices are life purpose-based happiness. BEST AFTER - Basic Instructions on Being a Human.
In meditation, you get from a thought level to a deeper level of understanding, perception, and peace. The situation could be described by a following comparison: thinking represents the surface waves of an ocean, and meditation is the depths of a seabed, where it is completely calm. A calm mind achieved through meditation is hopeful, solution-oriented, and creative. Renewed hopefulness is also a prerequisite for happiness. --- Neve, Eini. 2016. BEST AFTER - Basic Instructions on Being a…
Old wisdom says that the journey is more important than the destination. However, a perfectionist often focuses on the end result and forgets the journey that leads to it. This partly explains the often unhappy disposition of a perfectionist. --- Neve, Eini. 2016. BEST AFTER - Basic Instructions on Being a Human.
It is possible to test the strengths of human desires and build a basic human desire profile on the basis of that test. Some of the basic desires are very important, others less important. Different profiles make us unique and different from each other. Hence we humans form together a vast mosaic in which each small piece is slightly different in shade, texture, size, and shape. --- Neve, Eini. 2016. BEST AFTER - Basic Instructions on Being a Human.
A balanced, mature person seeks to get to the middle region of a thought segment. That is where the segment doesn’t sway, doesn’t tilt, doesn’t trip. A person who is depressed or prone to depression hurtles instead to the extreme end of a thought segment in which case the segment tilts askew like a seesaw where the weight is only on one end. --- Neve, Eini. 2016. BEST AFTER - Basic Instructions on Being a Human.
A visual person may benefit from an image in which the room of movement for all kinds of thoughts is within a big beach ball. On the surface of that ball are extreme thoughts and in the middle of the ball are moderate thoughts. Extreme thoughts that are positive are on the surface in the upper right quarter (e.g. bubbling joy). The aim is to learn to navigate within that beach ball in such a way that one remains as much as possible around the center and the upper right quarter.
Bibliotherapy can heal one from negativity and depression. What then happens in a brain? The read and adopted text and therapy changes brain chemistry and even the brain’s neural connections. Maybe you didn’t previously believe — or perhaps you have never even thought about it — that a brain is malleable to such a large extent by our own thoughts and by the thought breaks generated during meditation. This is really encouraging news for you.
If depression has a paralyzing effect on you, a schedule can be really useful so you get your life back in your own control again. At a minimum, you can write on a piece of paper before going to bed or after you wake up in the morning the things you plan to do during the day. --- Neve, Eini. 2016. BEST AFTER - Basic Instructions on Being a Human.
The problem in feelings of guilt is that they are based on distortions. There is always a thought associated with guilt that a person sees himself as bad, evil, vicious, or immoral because he did something he shouldn’t have done or he didn’t do something he should have done. In truth, the mistake done or the work left undone are only deeds, so it is erroneous to muddle up a deed and a doer to one another. --- Neve, Eini. 2016. BEST AFTER - Basic Instructions on Being a Human.
"... you may deal with criticism by becoming unhappy, angry, or staying neutral. You remain neutral if you consider whether the criticism is justified, and keep the deed and the doer apart from each other. This method is targeted to particularly the unhappy and angry and guides how to proceed towards that neutral way." --- Neve, Eini. 2016. BEST AFTER - Basic Instructions on Being a Human.
"This combination process generated only four distorted thought pattern families. A small collection like this could be called a straightforward, “nuanceless” everyday collection, because this limited number of thought pattern families is already easy to keep in mind in that everyday life, where sweat is trickling down the spine and certain words, which may later cause regret, come easily out of your mouth." --- Neve, Eini. 2016. BEST AFTER - Basic Instructions on Being a Human.
First Chapter and first page of BEST AFTER - Basic Instructions on Being a Human. You may read first pages here:
Empathy is an ability to step into someone else’s boots and observe the events from the boot-owner’s standpoint. It is not necessary to sentimentalize as long as one sees things from the other person’s standpoint and understands how that other person feels. [...] Empathy means that one forgets himself for a moment, and is fictitiously but as truthfully as possible, someone else or even an animal. --- Neve, Eini. 2016. BEST AFTER - Basic Instructions on Being a Human.
We start as a square and seek to become a circle. Flawless circles — perfectly well-balanced human beings — don’t exist or at least there are so few of them that we don’t need to burden our minds with that thought. All the more there are those of us who are angular at different degrees. Teachings collected in BEST AFTER help to grind those corners and edges smoother.
This book ought to be a part of every human being’s upbringing. No one should be withheld from information on how to cast a solid foundation for one’s mental health and maturation into an authentic adult. [...] The basis of this book rests on the classic literature in psychology.