Clean jokes

Sam died and left $50,000 in his will for an elaborate funeral. As the last attenders left, Sam’s wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said: “Well, I’m sure Sam would be pleased.”

A 67 year old woman walks into a drugstore. There’s a lot of people in the store, and she goes to stand in line. After a while, it’s her turn at the counter. She asks, “Hi, do you sell extra large condoms?” The cashier says "Yes" and points her down aisle 11. About 30 minutes go by...

You should never ignore words of advice from people who are qualified to give it – otherwise things can turn out like in this story. A man on a flight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on...

God was just about done creating humans. He was feeling pretty satisfied with his work, but he had two parts left over. He couldn’t decide how to split them between Adam and Eve, so he thought he might just as well ask them. “I’ve got two things for you, but you’ll have to decide who gets...

A hunter goes on safari with his wife and his mother-in-law. One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone. In a worried state, she awakens her husband and they both set off to find the old woman. Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there’s the mother-in-law, standing...

25 of the funniest kid's jokes to brighten your favorite little person's day.

A guy goes into the US postal service to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee." "OK, have you ever been in the military service?" "Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour." The interviewer...

Here I was, sitting at the bar, staring at my drink, when a large trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink, and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying." "This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." ...

The kids will love them.