Listen, you came over with a bottle of tequila and passed out after the 9th shot. I cannot be held responsible for my actions. You were supposed to be my handler, asshole. Look, I don't have a lot of time left to talk so just get down here and bail me out of jail. #hurryup #bigberthakeepsgivingmelooks #imscared (RP from my bestie, @mommyissues__ follow him if you're into emotionally stunted assholes like I am.)
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