Actually he is pretty perfect in my eyes! Except when he doesn't do what I want! - You are perfect in my eyes. But you should never be with someone who doesn't think you are perfect unless you do what they want you to do.
I'm exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel. I'm truly trying to forgive and let go. I'm tired of being afraid. I'm tired of crying. I know I'm enough. I just have to reiterate that dialogue internally and focus on the good.