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Oh boy...this is so me. Especially the stuff about breakfast food at breakfast time. Kathy and Roxanne and I must have eaten 200 Chicken Fried Steak and Egg breakfasts at Denny's when the clubs closed!!!

What's in your wallet?

25 Ways to Tell You're a Grown Up. Wow, I feel old. 25 Ways to Tell You're a Grown Up. Wow, I feel old. 25 Ways to Tell You're a Grown Up. Wow, I feel old.

Funny Family Ecard: The key to getting along with people is to either lower your expectations - or learn to drink.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: If you ask me to hold your drink, I will drink it.

#dating #humor

Dating should be like buying a car.You should get to talk to the previous owners! SHOW ME THE MANFAX

So true. nailed-it-

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A woman is helpless only while her nail funny quotes quote truth women girl quotes helpless nails done

omg can't stop laughing cause i've so looked in the mirror and seen this!lmao

I have had the "Hooker murdered in a back alley eye" so many times.

I must have misunderstood... I thought I was single lol!

Free and Funny Breakup Ecard: Oh, you're mad that I went out & acted single? Sorry, I must have misunderstood the millions of times you said you didn't want to be in a relationship with me!

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Free and Funny Thinking Of You Ecard: I may look calm, but in my head, I've punched you in the face 3 times.

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Mom always said, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them. This made me laugh! So true!

95% of the decisions in my life.. - http://jokideo.com/95-of-the-decisions-in-my-life/

Ecard : of the decisions I'm my life are based on whether I like the colors of something, if it is pretty, or if it smells good

Reasons i haven't committed a murder today

So unbelievably true. If prison was out of the picture: murder. Murder EVERYWHERE.

Seriously! You can't be nice to anyone without someone thinking that you're flirting.

Please stop mistaking my wonderful sense of humor as flirtation. Just because I make you laugh does not mean I want you. I'm just naturally hilarious. {I'm not flirting. I'm just funny} customers don't understand

.sadly met each one of these Multiple times.."mr right"

Funny pictures about I haven't met Mr. Oh, and cool pics about I haven't met Mr. Also, I haven't met Mr.