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Funny Family Ecard: If you are going to scream like that, you better be on fire with a stick in your eye.

My daughter doesn't do that shit. And parents that allow their kids to.well I will light you on fire and put a stick in your eye!

yep this is so true. I promise I'm not just being rude...I just can't think of anything nice to say that wouldn't be a lie. ;)

Mom always told me if you cant say anything nice, then dont say anything at all. And some people wonder why Im so quiet around them.Via someecards

Old school

Funny Family Ecard: Remember how patient I was while you acted up in the store? Hang on to that memory, cause I'm gonna woop your ass when we get home.

Kinda like trying to write a paper when hey let's go on Pinterest #college.

Free and Funny Courtesy Hello Ecard: If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream.

Every day at work, I wonder if this is going to be the day I accidentally scream "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" out loud instead of just in my head.

True for at home too

Some days at work, I wonder if this is going to be the day I accidentally scream "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" out loud instead of just in my head.

Almost 7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate around 10 at the most.

Free, Confession Ecard: Almost 7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate around 10 at the most

Aparently it two is the cut off at our office...FTW we are getting a bottle of tequilla to take shots after two strikes.

You can only say it so many times…

Funny Encouragement Ecard: You can only say, 'WTF?' so many times a day, until you just decide to start drinking.

I set my clock ahead to prevent being late...all it really does is sharpen my subtraction skills

I set my clock ahead to prevent being late. All it really does is sharpen my subtraction skills. ~ My alarm clock.

Spill things on myself ALL THE TIME.

Funny Confession Ecard: Today, I will be classy and elegant. Or, I will spill food on my shirt and trip over things.

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