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Funny Family Ecard: Next time the bully asks for your lunch money, tell him you left it on his mothers dresser.

Running is not my strength

If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die. HAHAH My husband told me this yesterday. He yelled RUN SAVE YOURSELF and i looked back to see what we were running from first! He said running is your death trap uummm yup

In case I ever go missing...

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: If I ever go missing, I would like my photo put on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know to look for me. Or on vodka bottles.


Funny Cry for Help Ecard: I'm eating my feelings and they taste delicious.

Want to do this at church

I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait.so evil!


Funny Family Ecard: Chuck-E-Cheese, because it's never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling.

Dog's birthday party

: ) No, I don’t want to come to your dog’s birthday party … freak. My cat is getting married that weekend.

It's been one of those days.  Of all the things Landon had to inherit my allergies and my inability to walk without running into things.

Just when I think my son is a little carbon copy of his father.That he inherited nothing from me. He trips over his own feet and slams into a wall. I say to myself.there I am. Haha, so true!

Basically my life

Free and Funny Thinking Of You Ecard: I may look calm, but in my head, I've punched you in the face 3 times.