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"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

My husband said I woke up and slapped him one night and the next morning I told him I had a dream he cheated on me.

Omfg!!

Summer has snuck up once again on me and my giant ass. (But seriously tho) Oh this is so true.

My patience is wearing thin. And by 'wearing thin' I mean you are one smart-ass comment away from being bitch slapped so hard Google won'.

My patience is wearing thin. And by 'wearing thin' I mean you are one smart-ass…

I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure the kids took it.

"I've lost my mind and I'm pretty sure the kids took it." - YOUR ECARDS - funny

this is not always a good thing, as i've learned over the years - but i just can't stop.

I stay fat because it would not be fair to all the thing people if I were this good looking, intelligant, funny AND thing. It's a public service really. SO true!

The Right Type of Friend

Funny Friendship Ecard: Thanks for being the type of friend who doesn& question why you heard the toilet flush when we& on the phone.

Funny Friendship Ecard: The Bullshit Flag has been raised, and boy is it flapping in the breeze.

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