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"Kiss my ass! You cheated on me in my dream last night and I'm not over it!"    This sounds like my husband, not me.

when you wake up PISSED. I've definitely woken up mad at the hubs because of something in a dream that he would never do in real life.

This is Logan for sure...we should have this on our front door.

Funny Confession Ecard: Sure, I walk around the house naked with the blinds open. If you're peeking in my window, your punishment is seeing me naked. Joke's on you, motherfucker.

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Every one has the best mom in this word . But it is quite difficult to understand your mom sometimes like she acts like a super mom in public and…

this is funny bc i am suppose to be cleaning.. and instead Kristina and I went to stock up on alcohol and wine. for cheap prices lol bahaha

Funny Encouragement Ecard: Today, Ill be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying all my shit with Febreeze.

You n me...

Free, Friendship Ecard: If you were a dinosaur you'd be a bitch-a-whoreus.

Some days are like this.

For all you people in school that thought I was shy, well, actually, here's your real answer.

Poor Destinee

Free and Funny Breakup Ecard: There may be two sides to every story, but you're still a douche in both of them.

Classy women don't have one night stands, we have auditions. You didn't get a callback.

Free, Confession Ecard: Classy women don't have one night stands, we have auditions. You didn't get a callback.

adding-and-shit-to-the-end-of-a-sentence

adding "and shit" at the end of sentence, can make anything sound thug. Example: i was playing with my bubbles and shit.

Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway? | Birthday Ecard | someecards.com

Funny Birthday Ecard: Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway?

Hmmm...Who might this fit???

I actually don't need to control my anger. Everyone around me needs to control their annoying habit of pissing me the hell off.

Funny because I love Phantom of the Opera! I sing it to myself often.

Funny Friendship Ecard: That moment you and your best friend talk shit about another person telepathically.

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