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Moneyy(;

Dear Lord, all I ask is a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't make me a bad person. I've been making that deal for years.

shit that blows just makes me LOL saying it :)

shit- that blows; when your skinny friend says she feels fat and you're just standing there. all fat.

There are a few people that I want to say this to.

K to T-"One day my patience will run out, and I will stab you. In the face. Very hard." Jaime-"I think you normally punch people in the face.

I need to remember this for next time I'm arguing. umm I mean explaining

Funny:)

This was so me in school!My Dad would always ask me as a Kid and even now as a teacher if they didn't let me talk in school. Because I'd talk so much when I got home!

or; Get up, not be amazing, beat myself up about it and try to fall asleep hoping for a redo!

My daily routine: get up, be amazing, go back to bed. (Sometimes the be amazing part is short lived but who's counting!

Sad but true...

Common sense is not a gift, it’s a punishment. Because you have to deal with everyone doesn’t have it

SO guilty. It's the worse. It's involuntary, fyi!

This is so me lol. I "roll my eyes out loud" all the time!

I HATE VOICEMAILS. lol Idk why, but they stay on my phone for like a week, and when i finally listen to it, it's only so i can get rid of the dang icon.

I can't stand voicemail. If you leave me a long message then you can't be angry if I don't call you back because I know I have already heard your complete conversation. Text me or hang up and I am smart enough to return the call.

like, seriously... let's be fair here.

It's a fact, stop doing that.

 lol so thankful that all my friends are REAL...this is just funny I had to repin

Friends are like Boobs. Friends are like Boobs. Friends are like Boobs.

It's Funny Because It's True

26 Thoughts That Are Funny Because They're True

Oh, this is so true! A worried mother does better research than the FBI! I'm surprised the FBI hasn't offered me a job!

This happens to me way too much.

Story of my life! Autopilot driving isn't safe -- oh well!

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