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Parrrrrtttty!

A friend asks if you'd like a little wine. A real friend asks if you'd like a little wine, then fills the glass to the rim.

Today we celebrate the miracle that is me. You may lay tribute at my feet and bask in my supreme awesomeness.

Free and Funny Birthday Ecard: Today we celebrate the miracle that is me. You may lay tribute at my feet and bask in my supreme awesomeness.

Pausing on a Comedic Note | Designs By Katy

I was just telling my kids that we had to square dance in PE when I was in high school (Thank God we did that cuz I NEVER used that a day in my life after that).they were like, "what's square dancing?

wish this wasn't true!

When your best friend is pregnant and you realize you won't have kids at the same time as planned. In fact, at your rate hers will babysit yours. - I don't compete with my friends. I think this idea is really cool if I should have kids.

Alcoholiday

You deserve an alcoholiday! After finals I feel like its more of a alcoholivacation

I HATE when that happens! ! Even worse, If It's in my car & they Have the nerve to tURN it DOWN!  Like damn.

You're speaking during my favorite part of this song and that makes me homicidal - so true

My bad self!

This is my dad's quote! Said it all my life. "Get down with your bad self." And then does the dance with the pointer fingers up.

we may not be talking, but if i find out you are fucking with them i will whoop the shit out of you! only i get to mess with them.... yes, i know for some uneducated reason you do not believe in evolution Angel & Jason.

If you mess with the little sister, there is always a bigger crazier. I'm that bigger crazier sister

Ha

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: When a cashier asks 'how's your day going?' I reply 'I am buying 3 bottles of wine, it's clearly only getting better.

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