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I am going to stand outside. So, if anyone asks, I am outstanding.

It takes 29 muscles to frown, but only 5 to reach back and smack someone...

Some people just need a high five In the face With a chair Made of steel Twice From Hulk!

Other - MotherYou know that song you like? which one?Sexy and you know itYaWell here's one for you.     I walk in your room and  this is what I see, there's a condom on the floor and it's staring at me. I have a rage in my  stomach andI'm not afraid to show it, show it, show it... You're grounded and you know it.

You're grounded and you know it - Funny text messages on iPhone with mom: You know that song you like? Sexy and you know it.

Hahahah!!!! I was just thinking this today! Stupid signs... Nobody cares if there's a baby on board or how many stick people are in your family!

I've always wondered why people announce they have a baby in the car. as if it makes a difference in the way people drive. This is hilarious!

I'm sorry, call me old fashioned, but I think shorts should be longer than your vagina. | Somewhat Topical Ecard

Free and Funny News Ecard: I'm sorry, call me old fashioned, but I think shorts should be longer than your vagina.

Pia Blandeaux / Pinterest

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Im not sure how people get eaten by sharks.I mean how do you not hear the music?

Where are the boys? I have a milkshake...

i thought my milkshakes would bring all the boys to the yard.

we need to fucking talk

Funny Farewell Ecard: Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. You were to make me funnier, sexier, more intelligent & a better dancer. I saw the video.

Guys have no clue

You do realize that my vagina has an on and off switch linked to the words that come out of your mouth.

hahahahah....new fav corny joke!

Funny when people go outta their way to get jalapeno business when they arent really apart of your life