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Boy: "May I buy you a cocktail?" Girl: "Alcohol is bad for my legs." Boy: "Do they swell?" Girl: "No, they spread"

The Most Interesting Man In The World

I don't always bake cookies but when I do, I only bake 4 because I already ate the rest of the dough.

I get asked 20 times a week where the batteries are....ummm, on the display with the HUGE battery on top.

I get asked 20 times a week where the batteries are.ummm, on the display with the HUGE battery on top.

So true! @Amanda Austin

Funny ass retro pictures

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.night owls don't serve breakfast in bed :)

Frieda is a character in the comic strip Peanuts by Charles Schulz.

"People Always Expect More of You When You Have Naturally Curly Hair", Peanuts, December I got my curls from my mother. Blessed now , but cursed them for many years

Don't take more than your share or the devil will get you.

"Be Good To Your Goblins!" ( vintage halloween / retro halloween / trick or treat / witch / bunny / butterfinger / baby ruth ) candy advertisement / ad / goblins

AHHHHHH just watched this movie last night. i feel like i have a deep intellectual connection to that movie

Ecard // Noah wrote Allie 365 letters so I think you can answer my text // the notebook

Always there for me...@hollye

I don't often talk shit about people and if I do its usually things I've said to their face but it still would be GREAT to have a friend like this! Who's signing up to be that friend?

And I usually don't take people off...

This is hilarious! I don't have a shit list but I love this pic. shit list at the top.


Funny Thinking of You Ecard: A douche bag of your magnitude could cleanse a whale's vagina.

If a telemarketer calls, give the phone to your kids and tell them it's Santa.

If a telemarketer calls during the Christmas holidays, give your kids the phone and tell them its Santa!

@Julie Billow!!!!  this is a good one!!! made me laugh out loud!!! 
Walk faster..

Magnets from Anne Taintor: walk faster. the children are catching up. I love Anne Taintor!