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no matter how hard i try to be nice.someone always manages to find my instant bitch button!

My hearts says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of god women, eat a salad.

365 Happiness Project 2014 – Quote 232 // my heart begs for chocolate and wine


It is quotes like this who have my husband double guessing what I really mean, When I say "What?" I mean "What?" Maybe I'm not wired like most women, but I mean what I say and I say what I mean, the first time.

Every time...Don't know how many times I heard my mom say, "Do I need to come in there and show you?"  lol

This used to happen all the time when I lived at home! The best part of this is that now I am a mom, and things magically appear for me when my HUSBAND can't find them!

@Randi Rae McMoyle i dont know why, but for some reason i am reminded of you...

Like a boss

I am not a bitch. I am the bitch. And to you, I am Ms Bitch.

@Gela Velasco This is so you! <3 HAHA @Karla Degrano You miss me <3 let's argue soon =))

I need to remember this for next time I'm arguing. umm I mean explaining

Punch you in the face

K to T-"One day my patience will run out, and I will stab you. In the face. Very hard." Jaime-"I think you normally punch people in the face.

anger quotes - Google Search

Every time I get mad I just have to remind myself, prison orange is not your color, prison orange is not your color. Prison Orange Is Not Your Color! code gets off

Lol this reminded me of you!!!!  You know those moments we get chocked on to say because we're laughing about it first =D

Story of my Life! I do this, seriously, all the time. The worst part is: when you actually do finish the story and no one else laughs.

Wine does that...

Wine does this, not a man. Wine does this, not a man. Wine does this, not a man.

Because they can't see you, duh!

Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking "I'm gonna ki. She's under a blanket. ha, ha that is funny!

Aging Humor Sarcastic Sign with Cat in the Hat

Cat in the Hat Aging Humor Funny Novelty Sign

Bat shit crazy, umm hello duh! I know I'm bat shit crazy but at least I'm being who I need to be to those who are important, my kids.

Sometimes you have to flip out and go bat shit crazy to a point.very true

Mess with me? I'll let karma do it's job.  Mess with my family?  I become karma.

Oh yea! Copy and paste this for your records bitch. Pray that you don't ever see me out. I will be loud! For ellie Stayton may you feel the wrath of karma you lying ass bitch!