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oohh yyeaaaaa ahahhaa!

I'm sorry for saying all those things about you being a slut. The politically correct term is 'sexually festive'. THATS FUNNY!

I cut this way too close..but I'm too stubborn to just fill it up normally

Time for my weekly game of " let's see how long I can drive with my gas light on.hahahaha or for me and my Prius my two week long drive while my gas bar flashes!

Mornings sucks!

The only thing I hate more than waking up early is dealing with people who LIKE waking up early. It's 7 am, calm the fuck down, this isn't fun or enjoyable, it's shitty.


Free and Funny Confession Ecard: Farting isn't ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!

@Ashleigh Rotondo @Shannon Vossberg @Sommer Williams @Erin King @Heather Rodgers @Cari McKibben

Free and Funny Labor Day Ecard: I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen.

I hate it when couples have a little fight & then change their Facebook status to "single." I fight with my parents, and don't change my status to "orphan." | Family Ecard

This is so true it's like people are trying to convince themselves when they post incessantly about their relationships! Beautiful couple though.

Party Inspiration and Molly Suzanne {$30 Shop Credit}

Mimosas // socially acceptable way to start partying at breakfast // brunch // ecard

I'm glad we broke up...now I can tell everyone you fart during orgasm, and how you're a major queef-bag.

Free and Funny Sports Ecard: I ate healthy and excercised today. I better fucken wake up skinny.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake... ...passionately, but with a tinge of guilt.

I thought of you today. I also threw up in my mouth a little. I'm sure it was just a coincidence. Yep, every time I think of him, gross! Wtf was I thinking!

If Facebook had a 'who really cares' button. Honey you would finally get the attention you crave.

A pet peeve of mine. the complaints of a run ragged stay at home mom. try being a single mother with a full time job. Or just a mother with a full time job. I've done both and can tell you which is more difficult.

What do I have that a female Olympian doesn't? An awesome rack. - First ecard I've made!

Free and Funny News Ecard: What do I have that a female Olympian doesn't? An awesome rack.

Psycho cookie maker

I'm a lady, but when I'm mad, I'm an evil, sadistic, demon spawned bitch from hell that'll make you wish you were never born. And when I'm happy I bake cookies & shit.

And I always have something to say

Funny Encouragement Ecard: Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

So much easier

Cross out the word husband and replace with boyfriend, and this is my life!

So glad you're having a baby...

For pregnant friends I know lol. and soon to be pregnant friends!

Sorry, I'm not Adele. I don't wish the best for you nor do I want to find someone like you. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff.

Funny Breakup Ecard: Sorry, I'm not Adele. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff. Too funny