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It seems to be impossible for me to get out of Target without spending $100--even when I go in for "just one thing".  :/

Whoever said money can't buy happiness has clearly been to target.

I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly grapes actually. Ok, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner.

Dinner: I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly grapes, actually. OK, all grapes, Fermented grapes. I'm having WINE for dinner.

Well, I don't have the money for shopping soooo.... be really nice to me and you might live. ;)

Well, I don't have the money for shopping soooo. be really nice to me and you might live.

Right here :)

Truth is, I actually have a file folder labeled "Fuck it." which is almost as full as the one next to it called "Fuck it and run.

The Right Type of Friend

Funny Friendship Ecard: Thanks for being the type of friend who doesn& question why you heard the toilet flush when we& on the phone.

Sure, I walk around the house naked with the blinds open. If you're peeking in my window, your punishment is seeing me naked. Joke's on you, motherfucker.

Funny Confession Ecard: Sure, I walk around the house naked with the blinds open. If you're peeking in my window, your punishment is seeing me naked. Joke's on you, motherfucker.

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