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If I ever go missing, I would like my photo put on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know to look for me.

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: If I ever go missing, I would like my photo put on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know to look for me. Or on vodka bottles.

Nom... Nomm... Nommm...

Cookie dough, cake batter, it doesn't matter, I'm not getting salmonella!

I hate when skinny people call themselves fat just to get compliments. Bitch just shut up and eat that sandwich.

Funny Friendship Ecard: I hate when skinny people call themselves fat just to get compliments. Bitch just shut up and eat that sandwich.

Omg... I dealt with it from Sat until Tues.. No more!!! I have dogs that freak and kids trying to stay asleep all night long!!! Ughhh

Funny Seasonal Ecard: This summer, all I want is a day or four where we just sit outside and drink all day, is that too much to ask for? And its gonna happen very soon!

Art Im so blessed to have great friends! quotes-and-things-that-make-me-smile

A girl's best friend Haha Funny Friendship Ecard: A good friend brings over a bottle of wine to share. A best friend brings two.

Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap. Same calories, cleaner kitchen!

Funny Seasonal Ecard: Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap.

Precisely!

so true! Funny Confession Ecard: I don't have a 'honey-do' list. I have a 'I'll freaking do it myself' list. And guess what? Shit gets done.

95% of the decisions in my life.. - http://jokideo.com/95-of-the-decisions-in-my-life/

Ecard : of the decisions I'm my life are based on whether I like the colors of something, if it is pretty, or if it smells good

es! Believe it or not...these two previously homeless outcasts went from absolutely broken, busted and poor, to... Now Earning Over Six Figures A Month Online Using 3 "Weird" Tricks That Will Get Anyone To Fall In Love With Buying Stuff From You http://www.empowernetwork.com/sellingtrick.php?id=david72

Free and Funny Cry For Help Ecard: I'm going to start cleaning my house. And by cleaning, I mean drinking wine and spraying everything with Febreze.

Omg, I think this all the time! Lol!

Funny Confession Ecard: next time someone tells me to expect the unexpected I'm going to punch them in the face & ask if they expected that.

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