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I have PMS & GPS which means I am a bitch and I will find you

haha...he's not much of an actor,but he doesn't have to talk

If only it worked like that. I'd make sure I was arrested often!

a woman is helpless only while her nail polish is drying

A woman is helpless only while her nail funny quotes quote truth women girl quotes helpless nails done

well stupid is as stupid asks

When people see you lying down, with your eyes closed they still ask: "Are you sleeping? I'm training to die." how to weird people out?

Funny

I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't catch on fire.

scales, arggg
So sad, yet so true. Burn all scales

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this is my train of thought almost every night...

Blanket on - Too hot. Blanket off - Too cold. One leg out - Perfect. Until the demon from Paranormal Activity grabs your leg and drags you through the hall.

Happens to me ALL the time!!! Maybe I have ear wax build up or something...LOL!

That's my life a lot of the time now that I live in Australia. All the Aussie accents are tough to understand at times.especially when they talk fast!

I need to print this and post on my door at work...... !

i may look calm but . I may look calm, but in my head We killed you three times. Your name isn't leatseatburgers i may look calm but I in my head We killed you three times Your name isn't leatseatburgers

life ought to plan on handing me vodka too

Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is going to suck. Very technical, but it is very true. You wouldn't want your life to be just lemon water, now, would you?

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