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Anyone who says that having a child was the best moment of their life has OBVIOUSLY never had 2 KitKats fall out of the vending machine.

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5 Deadly Terms Used By a Woman -- a little harsh, but humorously true. Where is men's deadly term list?

Will cocktails be served at your daughter's princess party or shall I tailgate in your driveway? | Birthday Ecard | someecards.com

I'll be saying this to my friends with kids. But then again, this might be why I'm not being invited to the princess parties.

I don't have time for your shit, Ke$ha! AH HAHAHA!!! Oh my gosh I can't stop laughing!!

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: The first thing I do when I realize I don't know where I'm going is turn down the radio. I don't have time for your shit I'm lost.

LOL...This happens to me sooooo often...

Free and Funny News Ecard: Trust me when I woke up today I had no plans to be brilliant but shit happens.

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