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My doctor told me to start killing people. Well not in those exact words. He told me I had to reduce the stress in my life. Same thing.

lol funny-sayings

You Wish Your Bar Mitzvah Was This Fabulous

I'm always disappointed when a liars pants don't catch on fire!

Hahaha!! Yup!

LolSoTrue: # 344 when i text you a whole paragraph and you text me back 40 minutes later saying 'K'. Are you asking to be punched?

Santa Claus funny

Because I'm a Guy on

Free and Funny Christmas Season Ecard: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know that I've been naughty. and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.

House of 34 | 2/67 | a DIY Blog

That awkward moment when you are not sure if you have free time or you're just forgetting everything! Oh, my goodness, this is my life. So true!

That might help, lol

Free and Funny Reminders Ecard: It's true money can't buy happiness, but I'd cheer up much faster while sitting poolside in a loungechair outside of my oceanfront mansion.

Walk softly around me. My BS tolerance level for you is low today.

"I need a new perspective on life . or maybe just a nap. Yeah, probably just a nap." A nap can cure any number of ills.

hahaha. by jeannie

I know some ppl like this. Lemme catch one of them trying to roast marshmallows on my fire. I'll give them a BIG HUG so we can roast together.

Parenting+boys+is+not+for+sissys!

I feel like that every time I have to change my work password - they forgot that it can't be a word you've used in the past year

"Shut the Front Door"

I think I use gosh darn and meanie head,.well "meanie pants" more than swearing these days. cause swearing might make you feel validated, "meanie pants" will make you smile and laugh again and forget why you were upset in the first place.

funny humor photo: tell a lot tellalot.jpg

Yep -You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands for instance if they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.

♡ Pinterest :: Kayleepo ♡

I'm so tired I could collaspe into bed and sleep for a year. (Gets in bed) how was earth created who made microwaves how does the internet even work I'm hungry feels bad about something i did 4 years ago remembers 73 unfinished tasks too wired to sleep

When you let something real slip in mixed company. | 17 Times Tumblr Understood Your Daily Struggles

When you let something real slip in mixed company.

Once my friend jokingly told his bff to try and hang himself and he was like I already have (as a joke bc he bruised his neck) and I went SAME and they all looked at me and I was like hahahaaaa what's that over there?

Really Funny Pictures That Make You Laugh Out Loud - 17

48 Really Funny Pictures That Make You Laugh Out Loud

Really Funny Pictures That Make You Laugh Out Loud – 17 View Full Article

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