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Haaa truuue

Humor) 'I've been blabbering the whole time and I get the feeling you're going to start talking so let me let you go'

Class in a glass

keep telling yourself that--it's also the drink of choice for many homeless people, hence the term "wino" for a homeless alcoholic. i'd rethink the whole "classy" part.

true dat!

yup i hate stupid people.especially people who pretend to be stupid

um, yes! please save the attention seeking 'poor me' stuff for your mama!

Funny pictures about When I read status updates. Oh, and cool pics about When I read status updates. Also, When I read status updates.

Can you make moments in your life happier - even after they've already happened?

For the first time in awhile, she was truly happy. Then she remembered, she was drunk. Me: BOL--burst out laughing.

Funny Coffee Signs | attitude, coffe, coffee, cool, funny, humor - inspiring picture on ...

Haven’t had my coffee yet, don’t make me kill you. // People should not annoy me before I have my coffee. You'll just a sarcastic response that is intended to make you shut up and go away.

bang bang

Lesson in Womanhood: "You are only helpless while your nail polish is wet. Even then, you could pull a trigger if you had to.

Funny Confession Ecard: Raisin oatmeal cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

Anyone who knows me well, knows I pick the raisins out of my oatmeal raisin cookie and the the oatmeal cookie! mmmm, chocolate chip oatmeal cookies are yummm-o though :)

Running for Weight Loss: The Ultimate Running to Lose Weight Guide – Strength Running

With my new diet I'm hoping to reach my original weight of funny thing is that was my weight when I was born

This is so funny. Can't wait to use this line on my husband next time he smarts off to me.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.night owls don't serve breakfast in bed :)

Bitch, why do you ask me a question and then interrupt me when I'm in the middle of answering it. You're fucking rude! LOL!

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic. So its not very nice, it is however funny

Always there for me...@hollye

I don't often talk shit about people and if I do its usually things I've said to their face but it still would be GREAT to have a friend like this! Who's signing up to be that friend?

Like Dorothy, I attract men who are brainless, heartless or cowards.

I have a drama free life, but I swear some of my friends are still stuck in High school.

People think I'm sassy. People think you're a bitch. Yup I know some people who would say this bout me.

funny blunt cards about sisters | Posted bySteve Stenzel at 3:11 PM

She was rolling on the floor in heat. She chewed through the screen door and got out and is, of course, pregnant. Your cat? My sister.