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The future// well son, it all started when your mother liked my selfie

My favorite unit of measurement.

My favorite unit of measurement.

HAHA I know that's right!

Please Pass Me That Parenting Handbook I Need To Smack My Kid With It funny quotes quote kids jokes parents lol funny quote funny quotes children funny sayings parenting humor


When I say "That's crazy," of the time it means that I haven't been listening to a single word you just said. Lmaooo so true

And I do know how to dispose a body where it will never be found. #taxidermy

I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times. Actually, I've killed many people more than three times.