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Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the or caw. <<< This is so ridiculous but sometimes I just love the American jokes.

This funny pun. | 17 Tumblr Posts That Are Just Too Damn Hilarious

17 Tumblr Posts That Are Just Too Damn Hilarious

A few reasons why Shakespeare is a genius

you think Shakespeare is boring? Shakespeare thinks your mom is boring. I don't love Shakespeare, but I that's because I don't catch the humor he uses right away ( that's because I don't read him on leisure time )


So I watch Sesame Street with my toddler. Every time the Mister Noodle routine is on, this story is all I can think of.

Tomorrow’s forecast: Freedom. And spam. Because Spam is good. Especially fried.

Tomorrow’s forecast: America…

Im dieing

Cursing in ice cream flavors. Moutou What the mint chocolate chip just became my new thing.

It's cause the us has multiple time zones, so 8 eastern time, 7 central, etc.

American time: Lol I'm Aussie so I have no idea what that means either but this is still funny. ^^ I'm American and I can agree that we measure in caws

And now I've realized something new about my life!

Does that mean getting shit faced is the human version of pressing CTrL ALT Delete?// Therapy is the human version of a virus check

There was this boy in one of my classes that was always really stoic, then one my friend was talking about pigeon bombs and his whole face lit up and he was going on about them and it made me so happy

getting 500 times cuter, unless its hitler. then it's nein times cuter<< I just look kinda crazy Bc I get excited and talk real fast

Maybe this is the motivation we need to get the space program funded more..

I am an American and I can verify we would do EXACTLY that, then probably declare cold war on China. or nah. << China declares an act of war on the USA by kicking their flag off of the moon.