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Because killing them with kindness takes entirely too long!

Do not ever underestimate my ability to find shit out.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I didn't text you. Jack Daniels did.

Stop and think about what super power you have, though. Just because you can read people's minds doesn't mean you can fly off buildings.

Free and Funny Sympathy Ecard: Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power

I realize blaming other people for your problems is kinda your 'thing', but may I recommend a bit of self-loathing instead?

I'm not a stripper or porn star. Also,I'm not fond of cutting my labia,or in grown hair infections. Therefore, the BUSH stays.

This is definitely accurate

To help ease the baby fever: Every time I see a cute kid, I remind myself how awesome it is to sleep through the night.

Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power.

I have this super power. I knew I was a super hero. " Common sense is so rare these days it should be classified as a super power.

I don't know, pink camo is just so tough...

I do have a Cabelas black baseball cap that has pink camo, so dont get mad. I am not a hypocrite just know how to laugh even at myself :)

They are horrible nursing shoes people!

Summer footwears a'comin

This is so funny. I used to wear Crocs with my scrubs at work . they are so ugly but so comfortable! then they are too slippery to be comfortable!

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Take a shower honey, you smell like failure.

everytime I go, I get the 1 thing I DID need and a whole wallet full of random stuff.

Whenever I am extremely bored with life, I post a political status on facebook and watch my friends battle each other like its crips vs. bloods.

I don't do this because it would be wrong, but it has occurred to me it would be hilarious to start something at work then watch from the side. But hilarious isn't necessarily the right choice either.