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uuummm..

Trust Vodka funny party dance drunk lol vodka alcohol funny humor funny quote funny quotes--I have heard this lie before

Once upon a time...fuck you

Haha story of my life! It's awesome! 'Once Upon a Time, Fuck You.

Common sense

Common sense is not a gift, it’s a punishment. Because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Woke up

Note to self: Trust me, when I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome. But shit happens. So, always be awesome!

Ha!

I've lost my ability to give a damn. if found, no need to return it. go ahead and keep it and see if it works for you.

I can't imagine ever being able to recall this quickly enough to use it in proper context, but it doesn't make me love the sentiment any less.

i'm trying to see things from your point of view. but i can't stick my head that far up my ass.

Radical

How to Practice Radical Honesty. You have probably told many little lies and half-truths throughout your life. Radical honesty is the practice of minimizing the lies you tell. The "radical honesty" movement was founded by a.

Go Fuck Yourself. With class! << Well, it's not quite Shakespeare, but it's still amusing!

And vice versa. If you dont want a sarcastic question, dont give a STUPID statement. Like saying you can't or you don't know before even trying. Why do these people exist?!

If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask a stupid question.why must people ask stupid questions? And why must I work with them?

Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got five fingers, the middle one is for you. - there are days when this applies to some people (ha.

MYOB!

HEY, I found your nose. It was in my business again. Seriously, mind your own business!

Ha! Exactly!!! Makes no sense

I love how in scary movies the person yells out 'Hello?' As if the killers going to be like 'yeah i'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?

looking forward to every weekend in Sept being a wedding weekend! WHOOP! I'm gunna dance my butt off!

Trust Vodka funny party dance drunk lol vodka alcohol funny humor funny quote funny quotes--I have heard this lie before

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