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A mom said to me, “You’re hard on your kids.” Yeah, that’s why they aren’t little assholes. My kids won't be assholes.


I don't need an Elf on a Shelf to motivate my kid to behave this time of year. I've got a Belt on a Shelf, and it's motivation the whole year through. This is very true here however we still do the elf just because it's fun and I love CHRISTMAS MAGIC!

I hate it when I plan my day and nobody follows the script

read the script people! This so me control freak lord I am aweful.

I'm 500% done with today and about 35% done with tomorrow. | Confession Ecard | someecards.com

I'm done with today and about done with tomorrow. SO glad this week is over at work. Hopefully next week won't suck as much

Nobody warned me that my child could possibly develop an attitude similar to mine

Nobody warned me that my child could possibly develop an attitude similar to mine.

Funny Family Ecard: If you are going to scream like that, you better be on fire with a stick in your eye.

My daughter doesn't do that shit. And parents that allow their kids to.well I will light you on fire and put a stick in your eye!

HAHA! This is all too true.Third trimester pregnancy ecard.

Third Trimester MEMES - Page 2

You know you're in your third trimester when you drop something on the floor and walk away muttering fuck it - Pregnancy Humor -

We hate everyone funny quotes quote bitch hate funny quotes girl quotes @Meg Christensen bahahaha!!

Why are we so unpopular? Because we hate everyone.yup, pretty much sums it up.

this summs up a few of my favorite people

Mom always said, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them. This made me laugh! So true!

You don't know me.

Free and Funny Cry For Help Ecard: screw you recommended serving size.

Funny Saying

Sarcasm- this is soooo true in my family and friends. If we bust your chops, you have been accepted as one of us!

I'm 'it's 8:30 and you want to start a movie this late?' years old.

Because my Husband knows I will fall asleep before the movie gets through the opening credits.wait, that happens no matter what time the movie starts- Annnnd that's the reason why we don't go to movie theatres.