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@annabelburnett

Funny Pictures Of The Day - 61 Pics

Good thing Dan drinks, or else all of our friends, relatives, neighbors, acquaintances enemies and strangers would not know how much he loves them.

My lyfe in an ecard

Ah ha hah ha! This is why I don't drink tequila

Ha ha.. Love it:-)

people always think I'm drunk after just 2 drinks. When in fact, it's not my fault I'm naturally just a God damn blast

Women are like.

Yes, i'll take one scoop of "my diet starts tomorrow"

I'm going to open an ice cream shop and name the flavors things like: dont be sad, he's not worth it, you deserve better. That would be awesome!

Every STINKING TIME!!!!

So true! EVERY single time lol! OCD at the gas station pump.it has to land on the right number or I'm annoyed lol

Story of my life!  I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet...I get hungry

"I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet. I get hungry." Well I really do get faint and shaky if I don't eat often enough.

Lol

Please stop mistaking my wonderful sense of humor as flirtation. Just because I make you laugh does not mean I want you. I'm just naturally hilarious. {I'm not flirting. I'm just funny} customers don't understand

Yep...that's it i'm scared of jail!

So unbelievably true. If prison was out of the picture: murder. Murder EVERYWHERE.

Funny Confession Ecard: Good friends discuss their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop.

Funny Confession Ecard: Good friends discuss their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop. (Bestest friends talk about both!

My Glass Needs More Wine - http://funnypicturequotes.com/my-glass-needs-more-wine/ #winememes #WineWednesday

My Glass Needs More Wine - http://funnypicturequotes.com/my-glass-needs-more-wine/ #winememes #WineWednesday

" i feel better about myself when I'm wearing workout clothes because that means I'm one step closer from possibly maybe working out."

eCard: I feel better about myself when I'm wearing workout clothes because that means I'm one step closer to possibly maybe working out. So true!

Oh god,I am ashamed to say that is fits me sooo well.

'I won't get jealous. I won't get jealous. I won't get jealous. Who's this fucking whore!

Why am I single? Because in this ocean full of fish, I am looking for a dolphin.

Keepin it classy tonight.

Bahaha this is hilarious. It's the thought that counts...right?

I'm glad it's the thought that counts because.I thought about going on a diet and working out before I ate an entire cake and took a nap.

Every girl wants a guy who's a polite dick... someone to hold the door open for her but still smacks that ass as she walks in.

I love a polite dick.hold the door and smack that ass!

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