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This is totally me. Funny Apology Ecard: Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. And by sorry, I mean you're welcome.

Common Sense is so rare these days, it should be Classified as a Super Power.

I have this super power. I knew I was a super hero. " Common sense is so rare these days it should be classified as a super power.

Successful parenting is finding Metallica on your child's iPod.

Successful parenting is finding Metallica on your child's iPod.

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Free and Funny Confession Ecard: Don't judge me because I am quiet. No one plans a murder out loud.

Folding your underwear..

There's nothing like folding your underwear to remind you just how big your ass really is. Funny Pictures Of The Day 81 Pics

68846 811334738893742 647815147 n MY FAMILY IS TEMPERMENTAL....

LOL I wish I could say this wasn't true! "My family is tempermental: Half temper, Half mental" Funny Quotes About Family Jokes.

Being on the same page

Rottenecards - When you are making sure you are on the same page with someone, also be sure that you are in the same book and that all parties know how to read.

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FAT Truth #5

Whoever said "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" has clearly never had cupcakes. Or chocolate. Or pizza. Nothing in this world beats the taste of chocolate, nothing.

Haha! I usually ask, "How bad is your pain 0-10--10 meaning you're on fire?!" You'd be surprised how many people say "10" as they're eating or texting. :-P

On a scale of 1 to stepping on a lego, how much pain are you in? Haha maybe this should be our new pain scale at the hospital :)