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Nice guys finish last? Of course we do. We make sure the girl finishes first....Multiple times!

Telling a woman to calm down when she is drunk will work as well as baptizing a cat.

And all the people said, Amen!

Funny Christmas Season Ecard: It just isn't Christmas unless you push your body to the brink of alcholism and diabetes.

Cheapskate Santa.

Have a laugh at these hilariously rude Christmas cards. Beware some offensive, foul language - very funny and very rude xmas cards - they were never meant fo.

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. And the answer is YES!

ecard

one of my favorite things to do. go to Wally World to "people watch"

I admit I get a small rush of joy when I open the dryer to find the clothes still damp. It's the like the dryer is procrastinating for me.

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I admit I get a small rush of joy when I open the dryer to find the clothes still damp. It's the like the dryer is procrastinating for me.

For my 20 year old son.  Being married is awesome so find a nice girl and stay at the party. You don't have to sacrifice the fun you are having.

Funny Wedding Ecard: Getting married before the age of 25 sounds a lot like leaving a party before 10 PM to me. well-i-thought-it-was-funny

So true

Job & Work quote & saying LOL! Haha I can't stand that bitch-or her crackers! The quote Description LOL! Haha I can't stand that bitc

Sounds perfect! Throw in full benefits and $100k a year & I'll work over-time!

Perfect Job: Diet Coke AND coffee! With little to NO interaction with people and I don't actually have to work.

We've been handling & telling the stories for how long now?!?!

Funny Friendship Ecard: Being my best friend means listening to stories about my bowl movements. Are you sure you can handle this?

Just right for me. 7pm is "Gown time" for me!!

Who said it was wrong in the first place? The minute I walk in the door I am running to my pjs

Ha!!!

I am not a control freak. I am not a control freak. I am not a control freak.

Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap. Same calories, cleaner kitchen!

Funny Seasonal Ecard: Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap.

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