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Damn his devil penis magic *ha ha ha* Put that on a Hallmark card

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. | Cry For Help Ecard | someecards.com

Asking me if I'm hungry is like asking me if I want money. And the answer is YES!

Apparently today is National Drink Wine Day, or as I like to call it, 'Tuesday.'

Free and Funny Cry For Help Ecard: Have a seat, girl. It must be exhausting trying to keep up appearances all the time.

My texting conversations have gone from an actual conversation to sending pictures of funny things I found on pinterest. | Friendship Ecard | someecards.com

My texting conversations have gone from an actual conversation to sending pictures of funny things I found on pintrest.so true

Am I the only one who calculates how much sleep I can get before going to bed?

I do this every night. Also I wake up in the middle of the night, I calculate how much MORE sleep I have before my alarm goes off .

burning bridges ecard - Google Search

Some people call it "nagging". I call it, "just do what I freaking told you to do the first time". to my husband!

I’m Not Really A Control Freak... Ok. Maybe just a little...

Some people jokingly say I have OCD. Others call me a control freak. Do you wonder if you might be a control freak too? Here are some signs.

Ha

Free and Funny Sports Ecard: I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.

eCards

My favorite winter activity is going back inside and putting my pajamas on. Every day of my life!

one of those days

Well I give up

"In the blanket fort with Jack.I have decided that I no longer want to be an adult. if anyone needs me, i will be in my blanket fort, coloring with Jack".

SO true it's not even funny.

I need a vacation. And by 'vacation' I mean I need to move away and find a new job. On a beach. With rum. a permanent staycation somewhere new. with lots and LOTS of rum.

Perfection + Procastination

This just about sums it up… “I'm a perfectionist with a procrastinator complex. Some day I’m going to be awesome.

FOR REAL!

This is my life. killed me when I read this. Made me laugh literally out loud! My day at work (almost everyday).

All these 9 year olds with iPhones, iPads, and laptops. When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.

All these 9 year olds with iPhones, iPads, and laptops. When I was I felt cool with my new markers. The crayon box with the built-in sharpener was the hippest thing ever invented back then

I don't think mine is too QUITE of a reminder...It's pretty much NO NO NO! Stop being spontaneous!

Whenever I start feeling spontaneous by bank account balance reminds me to calm the heck down - ecard meme - Humor me - Random funnies

My family is tempermental  - http://jokideo.com/my-family-is-tempermental/

LOL I wish I could say this wasn't true! "My family is tempermental: Half temper, Half mental" Funny Quotes About Family Jokes.

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