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Funny Workplace Ecard: I use excessive sarcasm at work because punching someone in their fucking mouth is frowned upon by management.


Sometimes I think, 'Screw this. I'll just be a stripper!' Then I remember I'm fat. and can't dance. OK so I would never be a stripper but I love it!

Replace sweat pants with stretch marks and this is so me! (my belly will never be seen in a bikini again no matter how toned it is)

My bathing suit told me to go to the gym, but my sweat pants were like "nah girl, you're good". My bathing suit is going to beat the crap out of my sweat pants.

Hahaha....too funny ....unless your at the top of the list.

Top of the list, bitch. One day I will take care of each one of the three that top that list.

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this is hilarious! Haas Reason why we put up with the grunting meatheads at the gym

When students give me excuses for not having assignments done or for giving them to me late.

SomeEcards : How to make your own e-cards in seconds AND it's hilarious !!

My Glass Needs More Wine - http://funnypicturequotes.com/my-glass-needs-more-wine/ #winememes #WineWednesday

My Glass Needs More Wine - http://funnypicturequotes.com/my-glass-needs-more-wine/ #winememes #WineWednesday

Yes!  Hubby best remember this...  and my use to be best friend carolyn!

Oh, I don't believe in holding grudges. I do, however, remember facts forever.learning to let go but this is too funny & indicative of the past

Pissed at my self for stooping to your level... But when the fuck r you going to learn I don't give a fuck about you and your "relationship" I am appalled my son has to even ever be around you...it must suck to be Soo full of hate and jealousy

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because I stole your man and wrecked your life. And because I'm a crazy bitch who will scratch your eyes out.