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'Go ahead and epoxy a property marker to the top of that phone pedestal', said no ethical surveyor ever.

Wow, you're a brilliant example of dumbing your way to the top, aren't ya, Sport?

Wow, you're a brilliant example of dumbing your way to the top, aren't ya, Sport?

For real, this is me...If you ran as much as your mouth did, you'd be in great shape.

Runner Humor:If you ran as much as your mouth did, you'd be in great shape.

My favorite

Funny Friendship Ecard: I stay fat because it would not be fair to all the thin people if I were this good-looking, intelligent, funny, AND thin. It's a public service, really.

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Funny Friendship Ecard: That moment you and your best friend talk shit about another person telepathically.

The many others...... People wonder why I gave my kids the names I did. I HATED my name growing up, there was always at least one other Jessica in my classes. There's only two other Keegan's, and no other Joanna's in the kids school!!!!

Free and Funny Confession Ecard: I automatically dislike anyone with my name because it feels like a competition and let's be honest. You're not winning that.

What do you have to be jealous of?? Exactly! And the "free ride" your getting right now WILL run out eventually , You do know that right? Don't like the truth? Please be the "bad bitch" you profess to be and call me with your bullshit! Not MY husband

Haha fits you perfectly right now 😘 stalk my fb like it then unlike it real quick. Quit being so jealous of my life! Your the "friend" who did this to yourself by your lies. Cute your stalking me I'm not phased by it. Horrible trait you have!

ahahahah

Be careful in that tanning bed, or I will starting telling u that u have been dorito raped

I agree...why the heck do you want a picture of yourself in the bathroom you do your duty in?!

Grandma says

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