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ja, ja....

From the Retro Humor Collection. Retro Humor Chocolate Lover Collection Because Chocolate Mini Tin Sign. Says Because Chocolate can't get you pregnant. Measures approximately 7 Inches wide x 4 Inches tall.

You'll Eat It Fridge Magnet - too funny

Magnets from Anne Taintor: you'll eat it. you'll eat it and like it. To my picky eater

With xtra shot of vodka

I'll have a cafe-mocha-vodka-valium-latte to go, please! Somedays this sounds like the perfect drink! Roy - new drink?

Motherhood---wanting to pee alone

My poor mom, I used to sit outside her door. I thought it was our "special" alone time. Poor woman just wanted to pee! Love you mom!

Power of grammar <3

Proper grammar makes me happy. I would rather cuddle then have sex. If you're good with grammar, you'll get it.

the only 2 reasons i listen to voicemails.. 1. if i don't know the number. 2. to get rid of the icon on the screen

I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.

Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don't worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal. | Thinking Of You Ecard | someecards.com

Funny Friendship Ecard: So then they handcuffed me and said 'Anything you say can and will be held against you' So I said 'Johnny Depp'. Robert Downy junior, Liam and Chris Hemsworth!

Fountain of youth...vodka

Alcohol can bring us all together

I have discovered the fountain of youth, and it looks and tastes a lot like Vodka - Anne Taintor

I'm right anyway.

This is totally how I feel about my mom when she is telling me how I should cook things step by step. I know she's only trying to help, but I will never learn if I don't try it on my own.

Suelandia: May 2011

The older I get, the more everyone can kiss my ass. Appropriate on my birthday!

Ha, what if this were true?!

You are what you eat. // Victor Lindlahr, You Are What You Eat: how to win and keep health with diet

hahahaa:) @Maggie Holzman this reminds me of grandpa;)  @Lauren Townsend this sounds like you! ;)

Haven’t had my coffee yet, don’t make me kill you. // People should not annoy me before I have my coffee. You'll just a sarcastic response that is intended to make you shut up and go away.

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