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Men are like a fine wine. they start out as grapes, and it is up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Sure, I walk around the house naked with the blinds open. If you're peeking in my window, your punishment is seeing me naked. Joke's on you, motherfucker.

Funny Confession Ecard: Sure, I walk around the house naked with the blinds open. If you're peeking in my window, your punishment is seeing me naked. Joke's on you, motherfucker.

Never ask a question you don't want to know the answer to.

Last night sitting on the couch with my husband I said, "I love you." he asked, "is that you or the wine talking?talking to the wine.

'Well hunny, he probably dumped you because your fucking crazy.'

Funny Birthday Ecard: Happy Birthday to the love of my life and the biggest pain in my ass.

Come join me on Facebook! - Find DIY Projects Images for Pinterest

I told someone something similar to this a while ago. I hate folding laundry!

Funny Cry for Help Ecard: Turns out all my Pinterest clothes only look good on those skinny hookers in the pictures. Let's go get a cookie.

Turn out all my clothes only look good on those skinny hookers in the pictures. Let's go get a cookie. Haugen Haugen Barb L Milsaps Soares

Bahahaha. I get this feeling a lot... by araceli

Listen up, asshole. I had two helpings of flaming bitch with my breakfast today. Satan, himself, won't even fuck with me.

Just tried to explain this to my husband and he took it way to literally ... This is fucking hilarious enough said

your ecards, birth control pills should really be made for men. it makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest, lol

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: You do realize that my vagina has an On and Off switch linked to the words that come out of your mouth.

Free and Funny News Ecard: You do realize that my vagina has an On and Off switch linked to the words that come out of your mouth.

men just cant take being sick....

Funny Apology Ecard: Oh you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg and now my body is violently ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue? My life it's not even funny

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