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New diet plan!

With my new diet I'm hoping to reach my original weight of funny thing is that was my weight when I was born

Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap. Same calories, cleaner kitchen!

Funny Seasonal Ecard: Holiday cookie swap, my ass. I'd rather have a cocktail swap.

kkkkk

It's funny bc it's true! I wore the same outfit for a week one time. It's sad bc yeah, I wore the same outfit for a week. Annnnnnnd bc [tomorrow] is spelled wrong.

The most expensive part of raising teenagers is the amount of alcohol we have to buy to tolerate them.

A friend asks if you'd like a little wine. A real friend asks if you'd like a little wine, then fills the glass to the rim.

Yes!!!

“I don’t know what’s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.

i can commit to that

I love that the girl is doing the girl scout pledge thing. Ironically enough, girl scouts shouldn't be old enough to drink wine.

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