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Every guy thoughts every girls' dream is to find the perfect guy. Every girls' dream is to eat without getting fat!

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie - http://themindsjournal.com/if-you-are-lonely-dim-all-lights-and-put-on-a-horror-movie/

My kinda thing. 😁😂 If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie - themindsjournal.

the only 2 reasons i listen to voicemails.. 1. if i don't know the number. 2. to get rid of the icon on the screen

I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.

Suspicious... @rebelcircus

Instagram Post by Rebel Quotes (@rebelcircusquotes_)

I didn't mean to hurt you!

When you accidentally hurt your pet and you're like, "OHMYGOSH, I'm so sorry!" and they walk away so you run after them like, "LET ME LOVE YOU!" Yep, I do this all the time.

Im not very nice when im hungry.

39 New Funny Quotes You're Going To Love. Hell hath no fury when I'm slightly inconvenienced and hungry

I don't even struggle with myself at this point.

Here is collection of some really dirty and inapprpriate quotes, warning… don’t reproduce them in home

lol

I'm pretty sire I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and I'll let you know.

Lol

WHAT AN AWESOME IDEA.I have always thought they should have a "dislike" button if they have a "like" button.

yay now I have a reason to slap people!

Tonight my husband and I went to Newks. I look over at him and a mosquito is sucking his left cheek. I tenderly with love slap his face. I say mosquito because it really was! I so thought of this quote!

I don't want to sound like a badass but... I eject my USB without removing it safely.

I don't want to sound like a badass but...

TECH HUMOR: I don't want to sound like a badass; but, I eject my USB without removing it safely.

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Funny christmas quotes - what are your wishes this year? For more funny quotes visit www.

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