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alarm

I see you turned your alarm off and closed your eyes for a second. I also like to live dangerously.

Girl you look good. won't you back That ASS up

Free and Funny Workplace Ecard: I named my hard drive 'That Ass' so once a month my computer asks me if I want to back 'That Ass' up

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Funny Family Ecard: Sometimes I look at my husband and think. You are one lucky son of a bitch.

Love it when kids say EWWWWW, I pushed you out of my vagina covered inm y inside YOU are EWWWWW

The Joke’s on Mom

I love it when I do something and my kid goes "ewwwwww mommy". Um child - I pushed you out of my vagina covered with all my insides. You are "eww".

Haha funniness

Free, Cry For Help Ecard: Loneliness is when you cuddle with your laundry after removing it from the dryer.

Yes, and please do not post you ugly feet on Facebook!  No one wants to see that!  No one's feet are that pretty.......geez, Louise......

Free and Funny Cry For Help Ecard: Please do not wear flip flops if your feet look like you could swoop out of the sky & snatch your dinner from a lake.

Z

Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you. I must be fucking Waldo. Story of my fucking life.

#rottenecards #ecards # target

This is so me! Told my husband I had to run out to Target so I was leaving him with the kids, should take no more then 20 mins. He fell for it. I'm going to walk every sq ft of that store with a caramel macchiatto & my coupons!

silly burrrr

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Bear got lost - funny pictures - funny photos - funny images - funny pics - funny quotes - funny animals @ humor

I’m not sure what’s longer…

I’m not sure what’s longer…

“I don’t know what’s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.

♡ true!

Pretty much sums it up, except I don't like Starbucks or wine and girls nights are annoying haha