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Funny but true! my body is a temple. I like tattoos, but this is awesome!

My body is a temple! Why don't you have tattoos."Do you see a Ferrari with bumper stickers?

story of my freakin life... wish it would change though, really wanna find someone that isnt scared of my wierdness

"doing something weird and thinking THIS is why I don't have a boyfriend." I know we both have boyfriends, but for some reason, this still made me think of us hahaha.

23 Hilariously Accurate Memes About Being Single | Look

23 Hilariously Accurate Memes About Being Single

Awesome.  Thanks.  So now I'm going to try to go get some sleep.  By myself.  In my house.  Out in the country.  Maybe my protective cat will be protective.  Nah... I'm screwed.

Blanket on - Too hot. Blanket off - Too cold. One leg out - Perfect. Until the demon from Paranormal Activity grabs your leg and drags you through the hall.

pretty much gives me a heart attack every time.

Funny and relatable moments in life that makes you go lol so true. Come have a laugh or submit your lolsotrue moment.

Petty is as petty does.

23 People Who Are So Petty It's Hilarious

My autocorrect lost all faith in me long ago

That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like, "I've got nothing man" story of my life

Bed Quotes And Sayings. QuotesGram

Funny pictures about I'm in love with my bed. Oh, and cool pics about I'm in love with my bed. Also, I'm in love with my bed photos.

the only 2 reasons i listen to voicemails.. 1. if i don't know the number. 2. to get rid of the icon on the screen

I hate voicemails. I don't have a voicemail box for this reason. Either text me or I'll see that you called and call back when I get a chance.

yup.  i'm deaf.

That's my life a lot of the time now that I live in Australia. All the Aussie accents are tough to understand at times.especially when they talk fast!

I get so mad when people try that shit on me, like no I was just randomly closing my eyes in the middle of the night

When people see you lying down with your eyes closed they still ask: "Are you sleeping?" "NO, I'M TRAINING TO DIE.

all the time..

Why do we feel safe under blankets? It's not like a murderer will come in thinking "I'm gonna ki. She's under a blanket. ha, ha that is funny!

Meanwhile on the internet...

Meanwhile on the internet...

i'm pretty happy with my life choices but i do both of these things lol.

Don't blame me

haha "When women wear makeup, they're basically lying to us." I don't see why I'm being blamed for a man stupid enough to think I have GOLD EYELIDS!

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