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So true lol

how to handle stress like a dog: if you can't eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away. too funny!

I want to give this chapstick to sooooo many people!

You need this chapstick, so you can STFU! Only modification it needs to be Gorilla SUPERGLUE.

Behind every beautiful woman, there's a guy who's tired of fucking her. | Breakup Ecard

Free and Funny Breakup Ecard: You Play The Victim So Well. I'm Surprised You Don't Carry Around Your Own Body Chalk.

Me all the time. It's funny how after an argument is over, you start to think about all the clever shit you could ahve said

:)

To relieve stress I do yoga. Just kidding, I drink wine in my yoga pants.

Trust me im a doctor

whiskey - the night time sniffling, sneezing, how the hell did i end up on the bathroom floor medicine

Car vs. Tree Branch.  Guess which one won?  Fuck that shit!

wtf: " fuck that shit" is a perfectly acceptable replacement for the word "no"

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