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Sometimes I think "Screw this.I'll just be a stripper!" Then I remember I'm fat and can't dance. -Story of my life.

Funny Pictures Of The Day - 38 Pics

50 things I want to teach my daughter. I would totally take a shot before swimsuit shopping with my mom!

Everything Paleo!

I'd do anything to lose except eat healthy and work out. ( I work out so mine is just eat healthy.

Pretty much sums my days off..

Free and Funny Sports Ecard: I ate healthy and excercised today. I better fucken wake up skinny.

I’m not sure what’s longer…

I’m not sure what’s longer…

“I don’t know what’s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.


My swimsuit told me to go to the gym today, but my sweatpants were like. "Nah girl, you're good!" xD I don't go to the gym in a swimsuit, though.

funny pictures - funny quotes - I just ran my first marathon this morning

Just kidding I'm on my cupcake. Just kidding I hate cupcakes. Just kidding I live for cupcakes. Just kidding I live for veggies. Just kidding veggies make me sick. Just kidding millennials make me sick.

I loathe sexist jokes from either side, but the next time some "clever" misogynist says this, this will be my response. :)

Humor ecard: Men say they don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. Well, I don't trust anything with 2 heads and only one brain.

This is my will power

Hilarious Weight-Loss Quotes to Instantly Feel Better About Your Diet: Anyone who's ever tried to lose weight feels for you.