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Already told Joseph this was not gonna happen in my house; he just laughed and I could tell the wheels were turning

There are at least fourteen ways this could go badly (seventeen if that fork is a dangerous crossbreed.

"Somewhere out there is a company that has actually figured out how to enlarge penises, and it's helpless to reach potential customers"

Somewhere out there is a company that has actually figured out how to enlarge penises, and it's helpless to reach potential customers.

I remember trying to log in to the original Command and Conquer servers a year or two back and feeling like I was knocking on the boarded-up gates of a ghost town.

How to Finally Beat the Unfinished Games In Your Never-Ending Backlog

The worst part is when sidewalk cracks are out-of-sync with your normal stride.

Floor Tiles The worst part is when sidewalk cracks are out-of-sync with your natural stride.

1Stack - XKCD Comics

The Banach-Tarski theorem was actually first developed by King Solomon, but his gruesome attempts to apply it set back set theory for centuries.

Fortunately, exactly zero other annoying internet behaviors have developed during this time.

I decided the best thing to do would be to say nothing at all, then Randall Munroe of xkcd went and ruined it.

Five Years

Probably not the model answer in an interview situation.

Also, after all the warnings about filling in the bubbles completely, I spent like 30 seconds on each one.

Obit of the Day: Scantron Inventor A piece of paper with lettered circles or open rectangles and a number 2 pencil.

Due to a typo, I initially found a forum for serious Fleshlight enthusiasts, and it turns out their highest-end models are ALSO capable of setting trees on fire. They're impossible to use without severe burns, but some of them swear it's worth it.

Due to a typo, I initially found a forum for serious Fleshlight enthusiasts, and it turns out their highest-end models are ALSO capable of setting trees on fire. They're impossible to use without severe burns, but some of them swear it's worth it.

Artist's note: Why do all my attempts at science end with me being punched by Batman?  (P.S. benzoyl peroxide soap works great.)

Complexion - Why do all my attempts at science end with me being punched by Batman?

I sympathize with the TPP protagonist because I, too, have progressed through a surprising number of stages of life despite spending entire days stuck against simple obstacles.

First Date - a Twitch Plays Pokemon parody. "I sympathize with the TPP protagonist because I, too, have progressed through a surprising number of stages of life despite spending entire days stuck against simple obstacles.

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