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You drink too much. You swear too much. You have no morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend! Peck & Rowton your my besties!

Fountain of Youth

I have discovered the fountain of youth, and it looks and tastes a lot like Vodka - Anne Taintor

A handy survival guide for men...

The first row and the last row are true. I suppose the last column (Ultra safe) would be too if I drank wine. Let's just change that whole column to "chocolate" instead of wine.

English, sarcasm, and profanity.

I am fluent in three languages.English, Sarcasm, and Profanity. Funny Sayings and Pictures: The Languages I Speak ('Funny Status')

@Abigail Norris... thought of us... love u!

Check out Forever Friends from Best Friend Quotes and Sayings-I love my friends :)

Mine is the opposite. But I've gotten pretty good at both, recently. You can tell I'm left handed though ;P

nails except mines reversed because im left handed. no matter how hard i try my left hand just doesnt look as good :(

Oh, yes!  You definitely need a glass of sparkling with brunch... & sometimes breakfast too ;)

"Brunch without booze is just a sad late breakfast" = FACT. Bring on the Mimosas!